Embracing Gratitude at Thanksgiving and Always

Two simple words, “thank you,” rank among the topmost commonly spoken among people all over the world. This phrase is also one of the most well known in several languages.

If we think about it, expressing gratitude is something everyone does nearly every day, often many times a day. But how often do we really ponder what we’re grateful for in life? Isn’t it much easier to complain about a problem, a setback, a roadblock to our happiness?

To some degree, focusing on what’s wrong is evolutionary.

“We’ve evolved not to be happy but to survive, and focusing on the negative is what’s helped us to survive in the past,” says research scientist Dr. Cortland J. Dahl.

Yet, not surprisingly, focusing on what’s positive in our lives and what we’re grateful for promotes better overall health. Myriad studies have proven this to be true. What better time than the Thanksgiving season to consider the merits of a truly grateful heart?

Physical Benefits of Gratitude

Among the many studies conducted about the benefits of gratitude are physical health benefits, including:

  • Fewer aches and pains
  • Improved sleep
  • Stronger immune system
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Lower levels of inflammation
  • Quicker recovery from illness and medical procedures

Undoubtedly, many of these physical advantages stem from emotional rewards, such as literally counting our blessings as we’re preparing to sleep (instead of tossing and turning over worries and fears) or being more apt to take care of ourselves because we’re focused on good expectations.

Indeed, gratitude is all-encompassing, with crossover affecting every aspect of ourselves and those around us. Let’s delve deeper into the psychological and social benefits of a spirit of gratefulness.

Psychological Benefits of Gratitude

  • Lower incident of depression
  • Lower risk of generalized anxiety
  • Reduced anger and aggression
  • Reduced post-traumatic stress
  • Greater self-esteem
  • Greater resilience
  • Lower risk of addiction

Indeed, those who look at the world “glass half-full,” reminding themselves often of all they’re thankful for, are doing themselves a great emotional favor.

Social Benefits of Gratitude

  • Closer and more numerous friendships
  • Greater empathy for others
  • More attractive to others
  • More spiritually grounded
  • Reduced envy, resentment, frustration and regret

It’s true what they taught us in kindergarten: saying “please” and “thank you” really does matter! On a more significant level, expressing genuine gratitude endears and attunes us to others, making us more enjoyable to be around, more aware of others’ feelings and more in tune with universal benevolence.

Growing More Grateful

Throughout all of time, perhaps now especially, the world has given us much to get us down. There’s a reason they call it a “practice” of gratitude, as it’s not always easy or instinctual to contemplate what’s good in our lives or the world. But we can adopt certain exercises that generate greater awareness of our blessings and help us focus more on what is right than wrong.

  • Keep a gratitude journal. This tried-and-true practice helps us take overt stock of the good things in our day, week or all of life. Note little things, like a warm cup of hot chocolate, as well as more monumental blessings like beloved people, a reliable job, adored pets.
  • Name three good things that happened in your day. This is especially helpful at bedtime, as you’re focusing on positive things that won’t disturb your sleep.
  • Relish the happy moments. When all feels right, be sure to savor the peaceful, contented moments, whether it’s a glorious sunset on the trip of a lifetime or a purring cat in your lap.
  • Look outward. Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology who has written extensively on the benefits of gratitude, attests that people are more likely to feel grateful when they focus on others rather than getting caught up in their own preoccupations.
  • Help others. Assisting someone with a chore that’s difficult for them or volunteering for the countless organizations that need help gives us greater perspective as we put ourselves in others’ shoes.
  • See the silver linings. Often, as we look back on things that seemed unfortunate at the time, we can see the ultimate benefit of a situation. Why wait? Look for them now! Your nasty flu brings flowers and friends to wish you well; running out of gas teaches you to feed the tank regularly.
  • Notice the actions and reactions of someone you admire. Those less fortunate than we (at least on the surface) are often an inspiration in the way they handle adversity. Watch such people and gain strength from their example.
  • Immerse yourself in affirming content. There is no dearth of books, podcasts, articles, essays, blogs, TED talks, etc. about how to have a more positive attitude and generate more thankfulness. Before you binge watch your favorite show, make time to delve into such material.

Expressing Gratitude

As discussed above, expressing gratitude to others builds stronger social connections and better relationships. But we don’t always know how to do it in truly significant ways…or we do know, and we fail to. Here are some suggestions:

  • Thank your family members. We often take our spouses and those closest to us for granted, assuming they know how much we appreciate them and foregoing expressions of gratitude. But actually saying thank you for specific things, no matter how trivial (“I appreciate that you took the garbage out, honey”), builds greater intimacy and trust in the relationships that matter most.
  • Befriend technology. There is a lot of truth to reports of the damage social media can do, but it can also be a viral vehicle for thanking others. Let people (and all their friends!) know how much you appreciate their good deeds and accomplishments.
  • Write a real letter and send it in the mail. In these days of modern communication, a hand-written letter via “snail mail” says a lot. Write someone you’re thankful for a letter stating exactly why you appreciate them and what they add to your life. Be as specific as possible.
  • Make a phone call. In addition to letters, even phone calls have become somewhat “old school.” A live, two-way conversation that doesn’t involve texting thumbs is also a memorable way to express how much someone means to you – especially if they’re not expecting your call.

Soon, we will gather around the Thanksgiving table to break bread and express a few words of thanks. But before we move on to Black Friday, let’s remember to adopt an “attitude of gratitude” – every day of the year.

At Lathrop, We’re Grateful for Our Residents and Prospects.

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