Mother’s Day Across the Generations

Carol Werba and family

This month, we celebrate the mothers, grandmothers and mother figures in our lives, those special women who gave us life, cheered us on, challenged us, bolstered us or (in some cases) caused us strife. Whatever our relationship with these pivotal people, families across the world observe some version of a day that recognizes the critical role mothers play in every society.

A Brief History of Mother’s Day in the U.S.

Much more than a “Hallmark holiday,” Mother’s Day originated in its current form in the United States on May 12, 1907, with a woman from Philadelphia named Anna Jarvis. This date was actually the memorial service for Anna’s mother, Ann, who was an avid organizer and supporter of women’s health and friendship. After several states began to adopt this date to honor mothers, President Woodrow Wilson declared the second Sunday in May to be Mother’s Day across all states in the nation. Today, 110 years later, the tradition still stands.

10 Fun Facts About Mother’s Day

  1. There are nearly 85 million mothers in the U.S.
  2. The average age for a woman to become a grandmother is 50.
  3. More than 50 countries around the world celebrate Mother’s Day. Along with the U.S., Australia, Denmark, Finland, Italy, Switzerland, Turkey and Belgium celebrate it on the second Sunday in May.
  4. More phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year.
  5. Mother’s Day is the most popular day of the year to dine out.  
  6. Mother’s Day it rooted in the Ancient Greeks, who held spring celebrations in honor of Rhea, the goddess of fertility and motherhood.
  7. The oldest living mother gave birth at the age of 73.
  8. In almost every language, the name for one’s mother begins with the letter M because babies can most easily vocalize the “ma” sound.
  9. A red carnation symbolizes that one’s mother is still living; a white one indicates that she has passed away.
  10. Globally, 28 is the average age to become a mother for the first time.

Great Ways to Celebrate Mother’s Day

A good place to start is by considering what’s most meaningful to the honoree(s) of the day and craft a plan accordingly. Remember, it’s the thought and effort that count; elaborate plans and hefty expenses are not needed to remind Mom or Grandma just how loved she is.

  • Brunch at home. Bypass the restaurant crowds and create an intimate brunch experience for mother and/or grandmother at home. Include some of their own recipes, perhaps passed down through the generations, and pull out any heirloom china, stemware, linens, if available.
  • Create a legacy video. Today’s smart phones make it easy to record high-quality videos. Prepare a few thought-provoking questions to ask your mother or grandmother, then record her answers, with her permission. Or simply go around the table and ask people to share a favorite memory of the guest(s) of honor. Your recording can be edited, uploaded and shared with others. Video book kits make it easy to create beautiful keepsakes with both still photos and videos.
  • Game day. Card, board or yard games can be great family fun. Play some of Mom/Grandma’s favorites or let them teach you a few. A simple barbecue and beverages may be all that’s needed to accompany a great day of friendly competition.
  • Have a picnic. May is often a beautiful time of year, with trees leafing out, flowers blooming and temperatures warming. If the weather cooperates, pick a pretty outdoor spot (perhaps even your backyard) for a Mother’s Day picnic. Paper products are easy and disposable but consider reusable items for a fancier and more eco-friendly touch.
  • Get crafty. Plan a simple craft everyone can complete within a few hours. Examples are flower arrangements, glass, wood or fabric painting, photo montages (repurpose or purchase a few frames, and be sure to have some family photos on hand). Whatever interests Mom, try your hand at it with her. Maybe you’ll learn that knitting stitch she tried to teach you years ago?
  • Spa day. Who is more deserving of a relaxing massage, facial, manicure/pedicure than the ones who cared so tenderly for us? Unless they are made well in advance, spa appointments on Mother’s Day might be tough to get, but a gift card to be used in the near future creates a heavenly sense of anticipation.

The Importance of Grandmothers

Since the subject here is Mother’s Day, we’ll focus on grandmothers, though grandfathers are just as important in a grandchild’s life.

Let’s start by considering the myriad names grandmothers adopt. No longer are such monikers limited to Grandma, Granny or Nana. Click here for a video that, while hilarious, highlights the serious business of choosing a name to commemorate one’s status as a new grandmother. It just goes to show how much love and excitement are wrapped up in that bundle of joy.

As that bundle becomes a toddler, child, teen, young adult and perhaps a parent themself, they’re building critical intergenerational bonds with their grandmothers, sometimes even stronger than those with their parents. This is because grandmothers play essential and very distinct roles in our lives.

Grandmothers are…

  • History teachers. Grandmothers have seen a lot, done a lot, learned a lot. They are bearers of living history, not only family heritage and lore, but also world events, pivotal moments and movements in time and general life lessons.
  • Cheerleaders. Having already raised their families, many grandmothers are unburdened by the responsibilities of primary parenthood. They have the time, opportunity and emotional availability to encourage their grandchildren, attend their events, talk and listen to them with full attention, forgive their mistakes and (sometimes literally) “kiss a boo-boo and make it better.”
  • Caregivers. A growing number of grandparents are raising their grandchildren, providing care for youngsters whose parents are single, deceased, deployed in the military, impoverished, incarcerated, ill or otherwise less available. To parents who are rearing their children, grandmothers are trusted babysitters offering much-needed respite.
  • Pamperers. “It’s my job to spoil my grandchild,” is a common refrain among grandmothers. While no one endeavors to raise a spoiled child, the special brand of TLC grandmothers offer youngsters promotes, rather than inhibits, their healthy growth into adulthood.
  • Advisors. A grandmother is a font of wisdom and perspective. As such, she can advise and mentor a grandchild drawing on years of life experience. Often, grandchildren feel freer to share secrets, problems or concerns with Grandma than Mom or Dad, rendering her uniquely qualified to support and guide them.

When Mother’s Day is Hard

For those who have lost or never knew their mother, have a fractured relationship with her or cannot have children of their own, the copious media attention on Mother’s Day can be difficult to bear.

Fortunately, there are ways to lessen the pain of Mother’s Day and the weeks leading up to it, several of which revolve around serving others.

“Often doing something for somebody else is the best antidote to grieving the mother you no longer have, didn’t get, or can’t become,” said a Chicago-based psychologist. Some examples are mentoring youth, babysitting for a friend, making meals for families in need, becoming involved in a child advocacy group or visiting someone else’s mother who is unable to be with her children.

You may also want to avoid social media (often rife with happy photos and praises of Mom) or seek support from a friend who understands your feelings about a day that is tough for many.

If you’re planning to see your mother on Mother’s Day but don’t have the smoothest relationship with her, avoid questions or topics that could lead to conflict and try to focus on good times together.

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