October 24, 2025
This holiday season, as we’re giving thanks for our blessings and celebrating glad tidings, it’s a good time to reflect on who and what is most important in life. For some, this means going beyond the Thanksgiving table and saying what’s in their heart in a legacy letter that inspires and endures for generations to come.
What Is a Legacy Letter?
Perhaps it’s best to start with what it’s not – a legacy letter is not a legal, binding document, nor is it a memoir or an autobiography.
Also called an ethical will, a legacy letter is a personal expression of one’s values, wisdom, advice, life experiences, lessons, hopes for the future…whatever they feel is important to convey to either a specific person (often a child or grandchild) or family in general.
Legacy letters have their origins in the Jewish faith going back thousands of years. They became popular in the Renaissance period, then faded from fashion in the 1800s. Recently, however, legacy letters have re-emerged as a preferred way for people to share their stories and/or heartfelt messages to loved ones into posterity. In fact, 81% of respondents in a survey out of Oxford University said they would want their heirs to have this form of “intangible wealth.” On this note, writer Barry K. Baines defines a legacy letter especially well: “Legal wills bequeath valuables; ethical wills bequeath values.”
Why Write a Legacy Letter?
A few years back, a college film student interviewed his normally reticent grandmother for a school project. His questions pertaining to her life ranged from basic to philosophical, and as the interview progressed, his grandmother opened up in ways that surprised even her. The videotaped exchange became far more than her grandson’s schoolwork. After she passed away, it was shared at her memorial service and remains a family treasure.
Indeed, life narratives are immeasurably meaningful to those who receive them. Psychologists tell us that knowing our family stories builds self-esteem and creates purpose in life. Depending on the content, legacy letters can inform, advise, express love and gratitude, amuse, spark curiosity, even make amends.
For the writers of legacy letters, the benefits are equally profound. A legacy letter is a way for one to be remembered as they wish and for their most meaningful thoughts and feelings to be shared and preserved for future generations.
When Is the Best Time to Write a Legacy Letter?
There is no ideal time to write a legacy letter, though many people wait until they’re older with more life experiences and wisdom to impart. Be careful not to wait too long, however, as one never knows when it may be too late. If you feel moved to write a legacy letter, there is no time like the present. You may wish to keep a running document, adding details on milestone occasions or during particularly joyful or challenging times…or just whenever you feel inspired.
Whether you intend for people to read your letter before or after you pass away is also up to you. You can share it now with whomever you wish or keep it with your important documents to be given to those you name after your death.
How Do I Get Started?
For some, the prospect of writing a legacy letter is daunting, especially if it’s perceived as this Big Important Document. But keep in mind, the process is very like writing a simple letter to a loved one. (Most legacy letters are 1-5 pages, but length is completely discretionary.) What’s more, you don’t have to be a “great writer” to say what’s in your heart. Write what you know, in your own voice. If you need a little help, here are a few pointers, plus there are several online legacy letter services.
- Introduction. Explain why you were inspired to write a legacy letter.
- Tell your story. Describe some key choices you’ve made or key moments in your life; convey what really defines you; tell what you have learned in life (not necessarily what you’ve achieved).
- Share your values. What do you fundamentally believe in; what do you think helps people lead a quality, virtuous life?
- Express gratitude. Share who or what you’re thankful for and why.
- Include your mistakes. What might you have done differently; what have you learned from your regrets?
- Offer guidance. Ask yourself how you can help your loved one be their best, then share blessings and wisdom with that in mind.
- Share your legacy. Describe how you wish to be remembered…“I hope you will think of me when…”
Is There Anything I Shouldn’t Say?
A legacy letter is meant to inspire and uplift. Refrain from preaching, boasting, airing grievances or admonishing others. While a legacy letter can be a good complement to a legal will, it is not in and of itself a legal document. Therefore, it is generally not appropriate to include the legal details of your wealth transfer plans in your legacy letter. You may, however, wish to explain your financial motivations, as long as you keep the tone positive and constructive.
A Word to the Wise
Technology changes at break-neck speed. As you want your legacy letter to live on far into the future, be sure you have a medium that will stand the test of time. Ironically, good old-fashioned paper (ideally durable, acid-free) is best for posterity. You can certainly present your legacy project in a video or audio format (or with photos, music, captions, favorite objects – the possibilities are endless!), but it is wise to transcribe it into text that endures.
The Gift That Lasts
Material gifts often fade, but a legacy letter stands apart as a timeless treasure for the generations. Unlike anything that can be wrapped or boxed, a legacy letter is a gift of meaning, memory and connection – a legacy of love. It reminds us that our heartfelt words have the power to outlast us, to comfort, guide and inspire. In writing one, we leave a part of ourselves. And that is truly the gift that’s meant to last.
Write your next chapter at Lathrop.
Write your next chapter at Lathrop.