March 7, 2024
Why Do We Make Resolutions?
History tells us that New Year’s resolutions date back 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonians, who made promises to the gods to pay their debts and return any borrowed objects.
In 46 BCE, Julius Caesar marked January 1 as the beginning of the calendar year. The Romans believed that the god Janus looked back on the sins of the previous year, inspiring them to make promises of good conduct going forward.
While today’s resolutions are more secular in nature, the idea behind them is not much different from ancient times: change past behavior for a better future.
A brand-new year is the ideal time for a fresh start, a clean slate, a “reset button” (despite the fact that more than a few people end up feeling terrible on New Year’s Day, also known as “National Hangover Day”).
Why Do We Break Resolutions?
Another of the nearly 400 lesser-known observances in the month of January is “Quitter’s Day” on January 19, as that is statistically about how long it takes most people to break a resolution – less than three weeks. In fact, over 90% of New Year’s resolutions will be abandoned completely within just a few months.
Psychologists blame these sobering statistics on a few key factors:
- Our goals are too sweeping. Humans, Americans especially, tend to think big. We’re optimistic by nature, and a new year represents a chance to seize the day with gusto. But often, our goals are unattainable because they’re too broad and, therefore, unmanageable. Said clinical psychologist Terry Bly, “As humans, we’re not wired to make big, sweeping changes.” What’s more, Bly notes that major changes require several (often rocky) steps to achieve, yet people mistakenly believe they can get there in one giant leap.
- We lack support and accountability. Successful change requires support from adequate resources, often in the form of other human beings cheering us on or, even better, joining us in our quest to achieve a goal. Another obstacle to keeping resolutions is a lack of accountability, either to ourselves in the form of recorded progress or to others aware of our intentions.
- We’re not asking ourselves why. Many of the goals we set are based on “should do” instead of “want to” or “need to.” If we don’t ask ourselves what’s really in it for us, what the reward will ultimately be, we won’t succeed because…
- Change is painful. As Bly shrewdly observes,“The pain of not changing has got to be greater than the pain of changing for us to really change. If we hate doing it, any goal we set is just pain and we’re not going to do it.”
How Do We Keep Resolutions?
Despite the obstacles, experts recommend various useful tactics to help us keep our resolutions long-term:
- Be SMART. From the world of management comes the SMART strategy for achieving our personal goals: Specific; Measurable; Achievable; Relevant; Time-Related.
- Specific means identifying the concrete action you’re going to take (i.e., “I’m going to make lunch plans with friends every fourth Sunday of the month,” rather than “I want to be more social”).
- Measurable means tracking your progress in order to see tangible results; for example, marking an X on the calendar every day you exercise or eat healthfully.
- Achievable answers a major roadblock to success, which is having goals that are too all-encompassing, as mentioned above. Breaking down your resolutions into smaller chunks makes them more realistic and attainable.
- Relevant indicates that your commitment has to really matter to you, and sacrifices involved must be worth it. As noted above, if the pain of change is greater than the reward, we’re not likely to succeed.
- Time-Related means having a realistic time frame in which to achieve your goals (don’t aim to lose 10 pounds in a week) and implementing them when it makes the most sense for you, not necessarily on January 1 simply for the sake of tradition.
- Get support. There are tens of thousands of programs and apps available these days to help us be the best version of ourselves, whether it’s physical, emotional or social support we seek. We need look no further than our phone or computer to find them. Perhaps the best support of all, however, is a real live person or group to keep us accountable and/or join us in our endeavors to make positive changes. While popular culture loves the self-sufficient, rugged individual celebrated for their personal grit and hardy bootstraps, the reality is that most successful people have help along the way.
- Persevere. Two well-known adages apply to keeping New Year’s resolutions: “Slow and steady wins the race” and “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Stick with your goals, even if you go off course. Far too often, we throw in the towel and lament that we’re failures incapable of change when we falter. Instead, use those experiences to evaluate what worked, what didn’t, and how you can “get back on the horse.”
- KISS. “Keep it simple, stupid” is another acronym that, while perhaps not the nicest thing to say, is helpful in principle when it comes to keeping resolutions. Having just a few key goals is far more manageable and achievable than an overwhelming laundry list of aspirations.
Fresh Starts at Lathrop
Few changes are as fraught with emotion and indecision as a move from one’s own home in older adulthood. Yet, few times in life are as rife with opportunity for positive change. New freedoms, new friends, new opportunities abound in quality communities like Lathrop. Here in our exclusively Independent Living environment focused on healthy aging in place, residents relish:
- Newfound freedom. On both our Easthampton and Northampton campuses, residents live in their own beautiful townhomes situated along cozy lanes with neighbors and friends enjoying the benefits of community without the burden of home maintenance. Their time is spent doing what they want to do, not what they have to do.
- New friends. Steeped in the Quaker values of teamwork, unity and a spirit of vitality, Lathrop is a community of diverse people driven to make the most of their lives with purpose, passion and meaningful fellowship. New residents are warmly welcomed by staff and residents alike, and each is celebrated for their unique gifts, experiences and perspectives.
Endless opportunities. Both on and off campus in the greater Pioneer Valley, life in our community is fueled by purposeful, resident-driven activities, initiatives and lifelong learning. Each person can be as involved as they wish, and all have a valued voice at Lathrop.
Discover what a brand-new start could mean for you.
Contact us and schedule a tour today!